


lunar

by frostii



Category: Wings of Fire - Tui T. Sutherland
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff for the most part, Human AU, I'll add more tags as the story progresses, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Mutual Pining, OCs for plot purposes - Freeform, Psychological Trauma, and they were ROOMMATES, everything is pretty much just the same except they're humans, i'm just writing this as i go y'all, idk - Freeform, idk how many chapters this will have, just gonna keep writing until i run out of inspo i guess, mentions of abuse, might get ooc, mild swearing, my boys - Freeform, oh my god they were roommates, pining idiots will be pining idiots, scratch that it will definitely get ooc, winter and qibli are such sassy little shits i hate them, y'all ready for the g a y
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-10
Updated: 2019-02-01
Packaged: 2019-03-02 23:51:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 15,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13329057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frostii/pseuds/frostii
Summary: Winter gets the comfortable bed. Qibli isn't very happy.





	1. cinnamon and roses

Winter got the comfortable bed, and it was totally unfair. Just because he got there first doesn’t mean he automatically gets the comfortable bed. Nope, absolutely not. He should have given Qibli a fair shot at it. Qibli _gladly_ would have fought Winter tooth and nail for it. Winter probably would have been down for a fight. Instead, the white-blonde boy had dumped all of his belongings on the floor around the bed and practically rubbed his scent all over the damn thing before Qibli had even had a chance to get up the stairs to their shared room in Queen Thorn’s palace.

Qibli groaned, letting his bags drop to the floor in the doorway. “No fair, igloo-face!”

Winter paused in the unpacking of his bags and looked up from the floor with a smug gleam in his arctic-pool eyes. “Should have gotten here first, sand snorter. First come, first serve.” He pulled his tangled headphones out of his duffel and jumped onto the bed, already having shaken all the sand off the thin white sheets. He stretched out wildly all over the mattress, still with that smug look on his face.

Qibli rolled his eyes and picked up his bags, huffing dramatically. He threw his stuff on the other bed and flopped down on the awful mattress, hearing it squeak and groan beneath his weight. He realized how much of a five-year-old he probably looked like right now.

Winter fished his phone out of his pocket and plugged his headphones in, then laid back against the pillow with his arm behind his head and his eyes closed, head slowly bopping to the music. Qibli scoffed; he knew that Winter had the absolute shittiest taste in music and whatever he was listening to was definitely NOT worthy of head bopping, and he was probably just doing it to irritate Qibli further.

 _Well, my friend, two can play at that game._ Qibli brought one leg up onto the bed. “Winter! Hey, Winter!” he called.

Winter cracked one eye open, not bothering to pause the music or remove an earbud. “What do you want now?”

“The moons are going to rise soon, and one of them’s full, remember? The full moon ceremony is happening tonight, and Thorn is expecting us to show up. This ceremony is pretty much the reason we came here, remember?”

Winter arched one eyebrow. “I thought we came here for holiday break? And I thought I was only here because I literally have nowhere else to go?”

“What, are you saying you don’t want to go tonight?”

“Yeah, kinda.”

Qibli shrugged. “Too bad, everyone in the kingdom has to go to these things if they can. It’s tradition.”

“For SandWings, maybe. IceWings, not so much. You can go and party the night away for all I care, doing moon dances and eating moon pies and creating little moon playthings or whatever you guys do at those things. I’m staying in tonight.” Winter closed his eyes again and went back to bopping his head to the beat, which Qibli could now hear streaming faintly from his headphones.

Qibli sighed. “You just don’t want to give up the nice bed, don’t you?”

Winter cracked one eye open again. “Maybe.”

“I won’t steal your precious bed, Winter. I don’t even want it anymore. You’ve practically drowned that thing in your scent already; I’m afraid that if I even brush it I’ll stink of you for a week.”

“Ha-ha,” Winter snapped. “You could use it. Would be an improvement," he added under his breath.

Qibli feigned shock, standing up with his hand on his chest and his mouth open wide. “Are you saying that I smell bad?”

Without a moment of hesitation, the IceWing nodded and replied with a curt “yeah”.

“Oh, and _as if_ YOU smell like cinnamon and roses all the damn time,” Qibli scoffed.

“Excuse you, I’m a supple blend of vanilla and spruce.”

“More like day-old pizza and hormones.”

Winter narrowed his eyes and yanked out his headphones. “I know what you’re doing.”

Qibli arched his brow, genuinely taken aback. “You do? And what’s that?”

“You’re trying to annoy me so much that I just give in and go with you tonight.” His blue eyes locked on Qibli’s black ones.

“... And?” Qibli said hesitantly.

Winter sighed. “It worked. You’re lucky your voice is so irritating to listen to. You can practically get people to do whatever you want just by talking about my _scent_ , three _moons_.” He got up off the bed and dropped to the floor to search through his duffel bag. He rooted around for a moment before pausing and turning to look at the curly-haired boy standing behind him. “What do you usually wear to these things?”

Qibli could feel the corners of his lips lifting in a little smile and he fought it back. “It’s super casual, so don’t feel the need to dress super fancy or anything.”

“The way you worded that is… suspicious.”

“What?! You think I’m lying?!” Qibli was actually shocked. He hadn’t lied at all. In fact, most years he’d gone to the ceremonies in old jeans and a faded T-shirt and nobody said anything because that’s what most people happened to be wearing as well. Thorn might have scoffed and rolled her eyes a bit at the sight of him, but she never forced him to change so Qibli guessed it was okay.  “I’m being serious!”

Winter squinted. “Mmm-hmm. Alright. Let me see what YOU’RE wearing first.”

Qibli gestured to himself - sweatpants and a plain black tank top - and widened his eyes at his friend. “Uh, this? Why would I change?”

Winter narrowed his eyes further.

Qibli groaned and rolled his eyes. “Dude, just wear what you’re wearing. You look fine.”

Winter glanced down at his outfit - light blue skinny jeans with rips in the knees and a white T-shirt that fit so you could see the outline of his pecs. In fact, Qibli thought it was overdressing. He’d draw more attention wearing that than wearing rags, not that Winter needed nice clothes to have attention drawn to him. He was kind of like a walking disco ball, big and shiny and hypnotizing. And he didn’t even _try_. It was just… natural. Perks of being an IceWing, Qibli guessed.

Oh, and the fact that he was a prince, too. But people didn’t even have to know that he was a prince beforehand; you can practically SEE royalty radiating off his body. Perfect skin, perfect hair, eyes the color of the depths of the darkest ocean, bone structure that could kill. But not just in his looks, no. The way he held himself. The way he walked and acted as though he were the most important person in the world, but somehow it came off as stern confidence instead of arrogance. Even after years of living with him, sometimes Qibli still got caught off-guard by Winter’s stunning beauty and he’d end up staring for moons knows how long. Whenever he thought too much about it and his face started to heat up, he forced himself to remember how much of a blubbering idiot his friend actually was and he’d start to feel normal again.

“You think so?” Winter said.

“I know so,” Qibli said with an affirmative nod. “Now get up, let’s go find Thorn and say hi.”

Winter stood up and stretched his arms over his head, and his shirt lifted just enough to expose a line of skin just above his waistband. Qibli whirled around with an stern _nope, fuck that_ and headed out the door, purposefully walking fast.

“Wait, Qibli!” Winter called, and then a moment later he was at Qibli’s side, having jogged to catch up to him. “Dude, really? Leaving me behind like that? I don’t know my way around this palace, in case you’ve forgotten.”

“I was barely out of your line of sight, man. And I wouldn’t leave you alone for all the world,” he added, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

“Aww, nice to know you care about me,” Winter said, just as sarcastic as Qibli had been.

Qibli playfully punched the other boy’s arm and suddenly broke into a sprint. “First one to the bottom of the stairs gets the first serving of roasted camel!” he shouted once he reached the landing.

As he practically flew down the long spiral staircase, he heard loud thumping behind him and suddenly Winter shot right by him, landing at the bottom first with a loud _thud_. He bent over, hands on his knees, taking deep breaths.

Qibli jumped down the last step and chuckled. “You’re THAT out of shape? Maybe that roasted camel won’t be the best thing for you, then.”

The thing was, Qibli knew Winter didn’t like roasted camel. And yet when he’d presented the race with the prize being exactly that, Winter had mustered up the energy to race him down the stairs and beat him, too. _He’s competitive by nature, I knew that. He always has been. But doing that all to beat me, and for nothing? He feels the need to be better than me. Or maybe to impress me? Knowing Winter, he’s not the “I need to impress everyone” kind of guy. That’s me. He doesn’t NEED to prove anything to anyone. He was born impressing everyone. He didn’t have to work for it like I did._ Suddenly bitter, Qibli rolled his shoulders as if shaking away the thought. It wasn’t like Winter had asked to be born into royalty. It wasn’t like Winter wanted people gawking at him everywhere he went. But still, Qibli couldn't fully ignore the thought...

Winter heaved a sigh and stood up. “Ugh, I really need to get back to the gym.”

“But first, it’s party time,” Qibli said with a grin, leading the way to Queen Thorn’s throne room.


	2. sweat-soaked

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Qibli's feelings are finally noticed with a little help from a very insightful friend

Thorn was not in her throne room when Qibli and Winter went to find her, so they ended up having to run around (much to Winter’s complaint) and search around the palace for a good fifteen minutes before they finally found her. She was in the lower kitchens, overlooking a group of young SandWings who were helping to prepare some sort of crocodile dish for the ceremony. She had looked up right away when Qibli and Winter practically burst the doors open, out of breath from running. She practically beamed at the sight of them, and quickly excused herself from the group of kids and came over to them.

“You made it!” she said, playfully punching Qibli’s arm. “How’d you convince your sparkly friend to come along, huh?” she whispered to Qibli, her voice loud enough that Winter could hear. Purposefully, of course.

“Convince? I barely had to say a word to him. I told him I was coming here for the ceremony and he practically BEGGED me to let him come along,” Qibli said with a smug smile, raising his eyebrows at Winter, who rolled his eyes and let out a sigh.

“If anyone was doing the begging, it was him. I didn’t have anywhere to go for break, so he asked me to come here with him.” Winter, still out of breath and sweaty after their run through the palace, ran a hand through his hair to push it back and then rested his locked hands on top of his head and took some deep breaths, eyes closed and lips slightly parted. Qibli quickly turned his eyes to Thorn.

“He can’t stand being apart from me. I figured it would be torture not to let him come along,” Qibli said, earning a smile from Thorn.

Winter opened his eyes and frowned. “Don’t believe a word he says. I can hardly stand him.”

“So that means you _can_ stand me, at least a little bit. I say that’s progress.”

“Hate to interrupt whatever this is that’s STILL going on since the last time I saw you, but I’m dying to know how your trip was,” Thorn politely said, smiling at the two of them again.

“Ah, same as usual. Hot, dusty, long. I swear Winter almost melted into a puddle at one point,” Qibli said. “He had to change clothes because he was sweating so much.”

Winter shrugged. “Sucks being an IceWing in the desert.”

“Unfortunately I can’t solve that issue, but feel free to tell me if your room is too hot. I can relocate you to a cooler, underground room,” Thorn offered sweetly.

“That’s very kind, Your Majesty, but I’ll be just fine in the room you already set up for us. Thank you.” Winter nodded politely, earning a nod back from Thorn.

 _He just wants to make sure I can’t snatch the comfy bed for myself. He could have a room where he wouldn’t be suffering from the heat and instead he chooses to make me suffer. Bastard._ Qibli couldn’t help but smile, though. It was kind of endearing how Winter cared enough about him to make him constantly suffer. Usually, if Winter didn’t particularly like a person, he wouldn’t give them any attention and would move on because he had more important things to attend to. With Qibli, though, no matter how much he said he didn’t care for him, it was obvious he cared a lot more than he would ever admit.

“So, are you boys ready for the ceremony tonight?” Thorn asked.

“Ready as I’ll ever be. And I have a quick question, if I may?” Winter turned to Thorn, who motioned for him to go ahead. “Is this okay to wear to the ceremony? Qibli said it was fine, but I’m inclined not to believe him.”

“Yes, that’s totally fine. In fact, it may be a bit dressy.”

“See, I told you!” Qibli piped up. Winter scowled at him.

“These events are super casual. Most of us tend to show up in pajamas, actually.” Thorn gestured to what she was wearing - a blue tank top and flowy lightweight bottoms with flowers printed all over the fabric. “So you don’t need to worry about a thing. Well, except for maybe the stares of all the people who weren’t expecting to see such a finely dressed IceWing at the full moon ceremony tonight.”

“He’s used to attention, he’ll live.” Qibli waved his hand absently.

“Alright then. Why don’t you two go out and have a look around? Maybe you can help with the setup. I’m sure they would really appreciate the extra help.” Thorn had a look in her eyes that clearly said ‘this isn’t a suggestion, it’s an order’. Luckily, both of them picked up on the subtext and left the kitchens with a polite goodbye to Thorn, who turned to go back to the group of kids.

Qibli led the way to the coliseum, where he knew they were going to need to the most help for setup because most of the action took place in there. As he escaped the dark tunnels, harsh sunlight blinded him for a few moments before his eyes quickly adjusted to the light. Winter, on the other hand, had to put a hand over his eyes and and squint so tightly his eyes were almost closed.

“Dude, you come from a place where sunlight reflects off icebergs and snow all the time. Isn’t that a lot harsher than just sunlight?” Qibli pointed out, one eyebrow raised.

“We just came out of a dark tunnel, give me a break,” Winter snapped, rubbing fiercely at his eyes and then opening them. He was still squinting as he followed Qibli to the doors that led them to the coliseum. He pushed them open and stepped out onto the warm sands.

The coliseum was teeming with SandWings of all ages. The older ones were setting up tables and putting out items they were going to sell when the ceremony started while the younger ones were painting the walls or chasing each other around with the sticks that were going to be used for toasting marshmallows. Qibli looked around for a moment before his eyes landed on an old friend. He nudged Winter’s ribs with his elbow to get his attention. “Hey, over there. That’s my friend Frond setting up the banners. Let’s go help her.”

They jogged across the sands and just as Qibli was about to call out Frond’s name, she turned around and saw him. Her eyes widened and she grinned, putting up her hand and waving to them. “Qibli!”

“Hey, Frond,” Qibli said when they reached her. “How are you?”

Frond shrugged, and a couple of her long brown curls slipped off her shoulder. “Could be better, but it’s all good for now. How have you been? Man, I feel like it’s been years since I’ve seen you! And who’s this? Why do you have an IceWing with you?”

“Frond, this is my friend and roommate, Winter. We met at Jade Mountain Academy and at first he pretended to hate me, but we both know that he actually adores me.”

Winter punched Qibli’s shoulder, but not hard enough to hurt. Qibli smirked at Winter, who rolled his eyes yet again.

Frond chuckled. “Because he so clearly loves it when you say that. Let me guess: Qibli annoyed you until you agreed to come?”

Winter’s eyes widened and his the corners of his lips twitched upwards in a smile. “Uh, yeah, actually… that’s pretty much how it went. How did you…?”

Frond shrugged again. “I grew up with him. He hasn’t changed a bit,” she said with a toothy smile. “But he’s pretty good at getting people to like him, so I wouldn’t be surprised if you started catching feelings for him somewhere down the road.”

“Oh, he’s caught them. He’s caught them hard,” Qibli said, taking a few steps back before Winter could hit him again.

“Enough of that,” Winter said curtly, turning his head away. He wasn’t quick enough to let his blush go unnoticed, though. Qibli grinned to himself. “Can we help you with the banners?”

“Oh yeah, of course! I’ve got a box full of ‘em. Just take a bunch and start hanging them up on the walls.” Frond kicked a box full of folded banners to them and they each grabbed a few, then set off to hang them up.

The hooks for the banners, lucky for them, were low enough to reach without the aid of a ladder. Qibli had to jump a little bit in order to reach it, but Winter was tall enough to reach the hooks by going up on his toes. They were done within five minutes and completed the right side of the coliseum’s banners. When they went back to Frond to grab the rest of the banners, they discovered there were only three left.

“Don’t worry, I got this,” Winter said, scooping the banners into his arms and running off.

Frond jumped down off her step stool and stood beside Qibli, nudging his side with her arm. “He’s super handsome. Like, crazy handsome. And respectable. Does he have a girlfriend?”

“Frond, you can’t be serious. He may be super hot, ironically, but he’s an absolute pain in the ass. Take it from someone who lived with him for two years: he’s a nightmare.” Qibli didn’t mean it fully. For some reason, Frond taking up a sudden interest in Winter made him… jealous? He really had no reason to be jealous. Winter was his own person, and it wasn’t like he and Qibli were together or anything. _I’m selfish, that’s why._

“Really? I can’t picture it.” Frond quirked her head at Winter, who had just strung up the first of the remaining banners. “Or is it just that _you_ like him but can’t admit it?”

Qibli stiffened. “What I’m hearing is that you’re not actually interested in him and you just wanted to hear me say I like him. Always been a clever one, Frond.” He let out a breath. “Of course I like him. Who wouldn’t? He’s the total package. But-”

“-you’re scared he’ll reject you? You don’t think he’ll take it well? You think he’ll hate you and leave you forever?” Frond finished for him.

Qibli’s heart sank a bit. "Yowch."

Frond patted his shoulder. “I think you should tell him. The worst thing he can say is that he doesn’t like you in that way.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. Thanks, Frond.”

Winter finished hanging up the banners and came running back to the two SandWings. “So, anything else we can help with?” His brow was slick with sweat and so was the front of his shirt, making the white fabric a bit see-through.

Qibli swallowed. _Oh boy._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> qibli that's gay


	3. mirage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Qibli takes Winter on a tour of the palace so he can get familiar with the "place where he might live one day"~

“So, like, when the party starts and stuff…” Winter started, swirling his glass of ice water.

Qibli arched one brow. “... Yeah?”

“Do I have to do anything or…? Is it just a gathering?”

Qibli stifled a laugh. “Dude, chill. It’s laid back. No obligations for anyone except to show up, that’s really it. Why are you so nervous? It’s not like you to ask so many questions.”

“I just don’t want to embarrass myself,” Winter scoffed, keeping his eyes firmly locked on the glass in his hands.

“Oh, as if the _nephew of Queen Glacier_ could _EVER_ embarrass himself,” Qibli drawled, earning a sharp sideways glare from the IceWing. “And if you could even find anything to embarrass yourself over, I’d be right there to make things better.”

“Oh, THAT’S reassuring,” Winter scoffed, rolling his eyes.

Qibli gasped dramatically and put his hand over his chest as if he’d been wounded. “What, don’t you have any faith in me? I’m not THAT mean!”

Winter’s unfairly pretty dark blue eyes sharpened on Qibli and the SandWing’s heart started to pound against the interior of his rib cage. “I’ve seen you steal food from a poor starving IceWing’s plate at lunch before.”

“Uh, first off, that poor starving IceWing was you. Second of all, not eating breakfast that day doesn’t constitute as ‘starving’. Third of all, I only steal food from people I really care about. So, I’m not mean.” Qibli shrugged in a you’ve-got-nothing-on-me way.

Winter rolled his eyes and fished his phone out of his pocket, clearly at a loss for a sharp comeback. Qibli grinned smugly to himself.

“So, should we leave soon or what?” The IceWing’s voice was a bit gruff, as if he had suddenly become impatient. He tucked his phone back into his pocket despite not having unlocked it or anything, which Qibli found a bit weird.

“Yeah, we can get going as soon as we want, really. It’s a bit early, so most people won’t have arrived yet. We typically wait until the sun has completely gone down, but some people just like to get there early for the first pick of the best food and trinkets.” Qibli remembered one time when he had been so excited to go to the festival he had begged Thorn to let him go two hours earlier than they had planned. She said yes, and when they arrived Qibli had run around to all the little carts and picked out as much food as his light SandWing appetite could muster. Thorn had bought him a bent copper wire bracelet that was similar to her own, except his had little suns instead of dragons. He never wore it much though, and now he wasn’t even sure where it was. Somewhere back in the Scorpion Den, he assumed. Maybe Thorn was holding onto it for him. He hoped he’d be able to find it again; he would feel bad if he lost a gift Thorn had bought for him.

Winter nodded. “Can we wait until it’s a bit darker? It’s still way too hot out for my liking.”

“Yeah, sure, whatever you want. Want to walk around the palace until then? You still haven’t seen all of it, have you?” Qibli asked, getting to his feet. From what he remembered, Winter had only seen this wing of the palace, the kitchens, one of the ballrooms, the throne room, and the grand entrance.

Winter shrugged and quickly downed the rest of his glass of water. “Sure, I don’t have anything better to do.”

Qibli nudged him with his elbow. “Come on, show some more excitement! You might live here permanently one day, you have to know the layout!”

Winter arched one brow. “Live here permanently?”

Qibli paused, his face heating up. “I-I mean, you can’t just drift around Pyrrhia forever, you know? And we’re good friends, and Thorn would totally let you stay here. If you wanted to, I mean.” He mentally patted himself on the back. _God I’m a genius. Nice cover-up._

Winter ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t know if I could live here… I mean, don’t you think the SandWings wouldn’t like the idea of an exiled IceWing prince living in the palace?”

“Psh, don’t worry about it. They’ll be cool with anything as long as Thorn approves of it, pretty much. Well, maybe not the old-fashioned SandWings who are still salty over Thorn taking the throne. Those are the ones you have to worry about if you ever decide to live here.” _Of all the reasons why Winter would have a problem with living in the SandWing palace, the one he decides to mention is the idea of an exiled IceWing prince living in a palace designated for SandWing nobility. Nothing else. He might not have even noticed the implications…_ That was always a possibility. Winter, though typically sharp-minded, was sometimes a real idiot when it came to subtext. Actually, it didn’t even have to be subtext sometimes. Qibli had blatantly flirted with him before and Winter had barely blinked at it. Then again, Qibli’s personality was naturally loose and flirty, so maybe the IceWing had just written it off as a joke, like it usually was. Qibli’s heart sank a bit at that thought. _I might have flirted with him as a joke, but there was definitely truth in it, too. What if he thinks it’s all just a joke, though?_

 _No, no, I’m not going down that road again._ Qibli shook his head and looked at Winter, whose cheeks were now dusted with pale blue. “I don’t think you’ve ever seen the treasury. Want to go there first?”

Winter blinked at him as if he’d just been broken out of a trance. “Sure.”

Qibli led the way out of their room, keeping his pace slow and relaxed. They walked in silence, the only noise being the sound of their footsteps against the smooth orange-brown tiled floor. Qibli didn’t even have to pull up his mental map of the palace; he’d committed the path to the treasury to memory so well that it was practically reflex now.

“Does Queen Thorn still use the old treasury? Or did she have a new one built after she became queen?” Winter asked, his eyes traveling all over the hallway, taking in everything.

“She moved everything out of the old one and stashed it in an old room that wasn’t being used for anything else. She’s planning on getting a better, safer one sometime in the future, but there’s more important things to attend to first. Besides, nobody’s tried to steal anything, so there’s really no reason right now for a better one,” Qibli explained as they turned a sharp right into the tight hallway that led to the old treasury. “The old treasury is just up ahead. We can pass by that if you want to see it.”

“Sure,” Winter replied. “It was Blister, right?”

“Blister?” Qibli said. _Man, I haven’t heard THAT name in years!_ he thought.

“Yeah, she was the one who stole all the treasure and blamed it on the scavengers, right?”

“Oh. Yeah, it was her.”

Winter made a “hmph” noise in response and then silence fell over the two of them again until they reached the two doors that used to conceal all of the SandWings’ riches. Qibli explained how Blister had executed her plan to Winter, who looked as if he were only half paying attention to everything he was saying. A bit annoyed, Qibli turned and started walking up the hallway again. “Let’s keep going to the new treasury. That one’s a bit more interesting to see.” Not even fifteen seconds later, his phone buzzed in his pocket and he pulled it out. The screen was displaying a text notification from Thorn. _Coming soon? The sun is setting._ Qibli unlocked his phone and quickly typed out a reply. _Be there soon, showing Winter the treasury._ Thorn replied almost instantly with: _Don’t be too late! Still want first pick of food, right?_ Qibli sent a smiley face emoji and tucked his phone into his pocket, suddenly realizing that Winter was standing right next to him.

“It’s only about a minute walk from here,” Qibli said. “Someone will be on guard, but I’m sure I can convince them to let us inside.” He winked at Winter and started up the hallway again.

It turned out that the guard on duty was a female SandWing who Qibli had only met once or twice. Her name was Mirage and she was a higher-ranking soldier who spent most of her time in other kingdoms as part of Thorn’s entourage for diplomacy meetings with the other tribes. She had shoulder-length straight dark brown hair and darker skin like Qibli’s. She had a tattoo on the side of her neck that peeked over the top of her shirt collar, though not enough of it was showing that Qibli could tell what it was. It was most likely a black diamond; most SandWings, if they had a tattoo, had one of a black diamond.

“Evening, Mirage,” Qibli greeted her. “I’m Qibli, and this is my friend Winter.”

Mirage smiled at them. “Ah, Qibli, a particular favorite of Her Majesty. And Winter, you said? I assume an IceWing?”

Winter smiled politely and nodded. “That would be correct.”

“Isn’t it hell out here for you?” Mirage said. “Why are you subjecting yourself to this heat?”

“Qibli pretty much dragged me out here against my will,” Winter said with a chuckle, nudging Qibli with his elbow.

“I asked you if you wanted to come with me and you _agreed_!” Qibli retorted.

Winter rolled his eyes and turned to Mirage. “He can’t stand being apart from me so he dragged me out here.”

“Hey, that’s my line!” Qibli exclaimed indignantly.

Mirage laughed, light and sweet. “Did Her Majesty send you down here?”

“No, I’m just taking Winter on a tour of the palace. He might live here one day, so I thought he should familiarize himself with the layout of the palace.”

Mirage flicked her gaze between the two of them. “Live here? Does that mean he’s going to marry the queen’s daughter?”

In unison, the two boys said “no!” while shaking their heads.

Something seemed to click in the female SandWing’s head. Her black eyes widened. “Are you two going to be married, then?”

Qibli’s stomach dropped and he could practically feel the extra rush of cold coming off Winter’s skin as his face flushed completely blue. “No no no no no-” they cried frantically, waving their hands.

Mirage, startled by their sudden outburst, took a step back. “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you-”

“No, no, it’s okay. Don’t worry about it,” Qibli said. He turned to Winter and winked. “It’s still technically a possibility, though. Huh, Winter? What do you say?”

Winter turned his eyes away, staring fiercely at a spot on the wall. His face was bluer than Qibli had ever seen it.

“Do… do you two want to go inside the treasury?” Mirage said cautiously.

“Y-yes, that would be great,” Qibli said.

Mirage unlocked it and swung the door open for them. Qibli and Winter headed inside but didn’t go much past the doorway. The room was deep though not very wide. It was filled about a third of the way and went almost all the way up to the ceiling. Granted, the ceiling was low, but it was still a lot of treasure.

“We’re still working on rebuilding the kingdom, and once that’s done, Thorn is going to work on rebuilding the treasury,” Qibli said. He didn’t even get a nod in response from Winter.

They left, thanking Mirage on their way out. As they were walking back towards the grand entrance, Qibli checked the time on his phone.

“We should probably head out to the ceremony now. Thorn is expecting us,” Qibli said. Winter nodded stiffly, his face still very blue. “What, you can’t talk? Ugh, _finally!_ ”

Winter glared at him, blue eyes burning with a cold fire that Qibli was often the recipient of. Before he could retort, Qibli ran past him. “First one to the coliseum gets the first serving of crocodile stew!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> honestly?? bless mirage and bless winter's absolute lack of being able to hold himself together


	4. bonfire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing like a little bonfire to soften your emotions

The sunlight was fading into orange and deep purple and the pale outlines of the moons were becoming visible in the sky as Qibli and Winter emerged into the coliseum. The large space was already full of hundreds of SandWings who were buying trinkets and food at the stalls lining the walls.

Qibli nudged Winter with his elbow. “See, told you that you looked fine.” He gestured to the casually dressed SandWings milling around them and Winter shrugged.

“Just thought you’d dress up for something like this,” he half-mumbled.

“We celebrate the moons, yeah, but they’re out every night, you know? And the ceremonies are designed to make everyone feel comfortable and included,” Qibli explained. “But then again I can’t really blame you for thinking otherwise, considering where you came from. Did you attend even ONE event there that you didn’t have to look nice for?”

“No,” Winter said without a moment’s hesitation. “Looking nice is a must.”

“I pity you,” Qibli said sympathetically, resting his hand on Winter’s shoulder.

Winter glared at him. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I _mean_ , obviously wearing nice clothes all the time must suck. I’ve worn a suit once in my life and it was the most uncomfortable thing I’ve ever put on. I wish I could go back in time and stop the guy who created suits from even going into the fashion industry.”

Winter scoffed. “Then you must not have gotten a good suit.”

“I’m not rich enough to get a tailored one, _excuse me, Your Highness_.”

“Look, one day you’re going to need a nice suit,” Winter said, ignoring the jab. “Aren’t you _basically_ the queen’s adopted son? Can’t she have one tailored for free?”

“Well, yeah, probably. But why? What would I need a nice suit for? I don’t go along on Thorn’s intertribe meetings. Events here are mostly casual, and if they aren’t I just throw on an outfit that’s still dressy but not a suit. Why waste time and resources on something I won’t ever wear?”

Winter rolled his eyes. “Trust me Qibli, one day you’re going to need a suit. What about when you go to a funeral? What about a black tie event? What about when you get married?”

Qibli hesitated for a split second at the last remark, but it was probably just enough for Winter to notice. “I’ll worry about those things when I get to them. Besides, I’m still growing and those things won’t happen for a while. It might not fit by then.”

Winter rolled his eyes. “Fine, whatever.” They started walking into the coliseum full of SandWings, the sand already beginning to cool beneath their feet. After a few moments of silence Winter leaned over and said out of the corner of his mouth, “Better safe than sorry.”

Qibli shoved Winter’s arm. “Dude, I’m not asking Thorn to get a suit tailored for me. Drop it.”

Winter shoved Qibli back. “Just ask! Why are you still fighting me on this? She’s going to say yes, you’re you!” He ran a hand through his white-blonde hair to push the stray strands back off his forehead, which was shiny with a thin layer of sweat.

Qibli shook his head. _Why is HE pushing this so much? Why is the way I look so important to him all of a sudden? He never cared about things like this before, especially not when it was me._ “I’m not going to wear it, Winter.”

Suddenly Winter stepped in front of Qibli, making him stop short. The IceWing grabbed Qibli’s wrists and held on tight, almost hard enough to hurt. His blue eyes were cold and sharp but burned intensely, and his face was stern. Qibli’s heart fell to his stomach and his brain suddenly seemed full of static. He couldn’t take his eyes off Winter’s.

“Qibli.” Winter’s voice was low and cold, speaking a command that resonated deep in Qibli’s bones. Something about the way the IceWing had just said his name made Qibli’s heart flutter, though he wasn’t entirely sure if it was because he was terrified or flustered. Probably both. “Stop fighting me on this.”

Qibli rolled his eyes and tried to keep his voice steady. “Come on, Winter, you’re being ridiculous. Let me go.”

Winter looked down at their hands and as if suddenly realizing what he was doing, he let go and took a step back, eyes wide. He looked away for a second and then back at Qibli. “I’ll get you into a suit if it kills me.”

Qibli couldn’t help but laugh, earning an eyebrow raise from Winter. “Why are you so hellbent on making me wear a suit? Why does it matter to you so much?”

“I don’t know,” Winter half-mumbled. “I really shouldn’t care. If you’re willing to go the rest of your life like this, then why should I even try helping you?” He ran his hand through his hair again and turned away, walking towards one of the blazing bonfires. Qibli stayed where he was, staring after Winter.

 _What the hell is his problem?_ he thought bitterly. _What is he even talking about…?_ Qibli turned around and took a few steps toward a cart selling jade bead necklaces, then slowly turned back to Winter.

Winter was now sitting down on a carpet in front of the fire with a crowd of young SandWings around him, all with bright and curious expressions. _It’s probably their first time seeing an IceWing,_ Qibli realized. He headed towards them and they looked up as he approached.

“Qibli!” shouted one of the kids who Qibli didn’t recognize in the dark until he looked closer. It was a little boy Qibli had been in charge of watching plenty of times because his parents were often on Thorn’s diplomatic trips. His name was Beetle and he had a knack for drawing; Qibli still had some of the drawings Beetle had given to him a year or two back.

Qibli smiled. “Hey, Beetle! What’s going on?” Winter turned his head up to look at Qibli, his dark eyes reflecting the flames.

Beetle and two other kids blinked their large eyes at Winter. “An IceWing! Here, in the Kingdom of Sand! We’ve never seen a real live one before!” they exclaimed, their voices full of wonder.

Qibli chuckled and crouched down next to Winter, resting one hand on his friend’s shoulder. “Is he just as pretty as you thought he would be?”

Beetle nodded. “He’s so… sharp and cold and shiny... and he has really cool white hair! And pretty blue eyes! They look like sapphires.” He leaned closer to Winter, who flinched back a little but let Beetle inspect him. “ _Are_ they sapphires?”

“How would I be able to see if my eyes were sapphires?” Winter asked, his voice light and teasing.

Beetle shrugged. “Dunno, you tell me. So, they _aren’t_ sapphires?” He tilted his head.

Winter shook his head. “No, sorry.”

“Hmph, they might as well be,” Qibli said, ruffling Beetle’s hair. “They’re so pretty and blue I wouldn’t think twice if he straight-up lied to me and told me they were.”

“Can I touch your hair?” Beetle asked suddenly. Qibli held back his laughter.

Winter arched one eyebrow but nodded. “Go ahead.”

Beetle reached up and gently patted the top of Winter’s head, quickly recoiling his hand with a shocked gasp. “It’s so cold! Why is it so cold?”

“It’s just natural,” Winter said. “Just like how you always give off lots of heat, think about it that way.”

Beetle nodded. “Ohhhhh, I see.”

One of the girls that Qibli didn’t know came forward, her tan cheeks dusted with pink. When she spoke, her voice was so quiet that Qibli had to strain to hear her over the crackling of the fire. “Um… Mr. IceWing… I have a question…”

Winter cracked a warm smile at her. “Yeah?”

The little SandWing shuffled her feet while looking down at the ground. “Do you… do you really live in palaces made of ice?”

“Yes we do, but only First and Second Circle IceWings. Everyone else lives in smaller ice and snow structures.” Winter ran a hand through his hair again.

“Did _you_ live in an ice palace?” Beetle piped up, his eyes wide with excitement.

Qibli’s eyes flicked to Winter when he was silent for a few seconds. He knew Winter was thinking about his family, most of whom were now dead from the curse Darkstalker had set on them. His past life, faking his own death, leaving everything and everyone he knew behind forever. He reached out and rested his hand on top of Winter’s comfortingly and his touch seemed to bring the other boy out of his thoughts.

“As a matter of fact, I did. I’m the nephew of ex-Queen Glacier, ex-Prince Winter.”

The young SandWings all looked at Winter as if slugs had just started crawling out of his ears. “Ex?”

“Well, Queen Glacier died about a year and a half back, and just before she died, I was exiled from my kingdom-”

“You got KICKED OUT?!” cried Beetle.

“Well, it’s a little more complicated than that,” Winter said matter-of-factly. “There was a whole big issue with my siblings and there were a lot of other things involved too, but essentially, yes. I was kicked out.”

“Did you do something bad?” Beetle asked excitedly. “Oh oh oh! Let me guess what you did!” He took a step back and squinted at Winter, one hand on his chin. “You threw a coconut at your friend but you hit the queen by mistake!”

The girl shoved Beetle. “Don’t be an idiot, they don’t have coconuts in the Ice Kingdom!” She quickly turned her head to Winter. “Right?”

Winter nodded. “It’s too cold for most plants to grow there.”

“Hmm,” said Beetle, still deep in thought. “You got caught stealing food! You got into a fight! You broke something really expensive!” His eyes flicked to Qibli. “Wait… some SandWings and IceWings weren’t on the same side during the war. You met Qibli and you became friends but the queen didn’t approve of it so she kicked you out!”

“No no no, that’s not what happened,” Winter said. “Trust me, it’s a lot more complicated than that.”

Beetle tipped his head to the side. “Huh, now that I said it, how _did_ you guys meet?”

“We met at school,” Qibli said, throwing his arm around Winter’s shoulders. “We were roommates. We sure had some great times there, huh?”

Winter scoffed and rolled his eyes. “The times we were _actually_ at school instead of running wild all over the continent, you mean. And even then, no. You were insufferable. You _still_ are.”

Qibli winked at Beetle. “He loves me.”

“Hah! In your dreams,” Winter said, shoving Qibli’s arm away.

Qibli mouthed “he loves me” at Beetle and the little SandWing laughed.

“Uh, Mr. IceWing, I have another question,” said the little girl. “If you wanted to, could you go back home? Would they take you back?”

“They might,” Winter said with a thoughtful sigh. “But they most likely won’t. And besides, I don’t think I want to go back anymore. I like exploring Pyrrhia.” A soft smile spread on his face, so genuine that it made Qibli smile too.

“So you’re not royal anymore?” she asked.

“Technically speaking, I’m not royal anymore,” he replied as Beetle playfully shoved the girl and said, “Shut up, Dawn! You just want to be a princess!”

Qibli and Winter exchanged amused glances.

“Do not!” Dawn whined, shoving Beetle back.

“Yeah you do! You always say that you wish you were Queen Thorn’s daughter! You ALWAYS talk about marrying a prince one day!” Beetle cried.

“But not him!” Dawn said, purposefully avoiding looking at Winter. “You heard him, he’s not a prince anymore!”

“But you _were_ thinking about it before!” Beetle pointed out.

Qibli and Winter stifled their laughter as best they could. “Okay, okay, let’s calm down.”

Dawn and Beetle gave each other a sour look as they separated.

Qibli ruffled Beetle’s hair once more, shaking the sand out of it. “Why don’t you go find your parents, okay? I’m sure they’re looking for you.”

“Okay,” Beetle said. “See you later!” He ran off towards a cluster of food stalls, quickly getting swallowed up by the crowd of SandWings. Dawn ran off in the opposite direction, quickly finding who appeared to be her mother, or perhaps her older sister.

Qibli sat down on the carpet next to Winter and stretched his arms and legs out. “Kids, am I right?” he chuckled.

Winter smiled softly. “They were pretty hilarious,” he agreed. “‘Mr. IceWing’.”

Qibli let out an amused exhale. “You’ve got a suitor, how adorable is that?”

“Shut up, man,” Winter said, hitting Qibli’s shoulder.

Comfortable silence fell over the two of them as they sat in front of the bonfire, staring into the dancing orange flames. A cool breeze brushed over their skin and suddenly Qibli found himself edging closer to the IceWing. “Thanks for coming with me tonight.”

“I didn’t really have a choice, did I?” Winter didn’t take his eyes off the fire.

Qibli shrugged. “I guess not.”

“You guess not?” Winter said, turning to face Qibli. “What’s that supposed to mean?” His voice was uncharacteristically soft, but Qibli kind of liked it.

“I don’t really know,” Qibli admitted. His eyes flicked down to Winter’s slightly parted lips then back up to his eyes. He could feel heat spreading in his cheeks and if Winter asked, he was going to blame it on the bonfire, which they actually really shouldn’t be as close to as they were.

Winter cracked a small smile and shook his head. “You’re so weird.”

“Not as weird as you, though.”

Winter swallowed, his eyes searching for something in Qibli’s. “I don’t think so.”

“Oh, yeah? Prove it.” Qibli smirked at his friend.

“Consider everything I’ve ever done and then consider everything you’ve ever done. It’s hardly a competition.” Was Winter’s voice getting softer and warmer with every sentence he spoke or was Qibli finally going crazy?

Qibli shrugged, accepting defeat. “Fair enough.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soft


	5. beautiful solemnity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Playful teasing, but is it really just teasing~?

Eventually the fire had become too hot for Winter, so the two of them had retreated to a spot that was much cooler, under a palm tree, and just outside the arena walls. Winter was gulping down cup after cup of ice water and wiping his lips with his wrist after each sip, breathing heavily. Sweat was glistening on his forehead and his eyes looked glazed.

“Are you feeling okay?” Qibli asked after what must have been Winter’s sixth refill. Winter threw his head back and downed the entire cup in one go, then wiped his lips and leaned against the trunk of the palm tree.

“Yeah, just hot and dehydrated.”

“Do you feel sick? You don’t look so good. Do you need me to get you anything?” Qibli reached for Winter, but his hand froze in mid-air and he quickly retreated it. 

Winter took a deep breath, his eyes closed. “I’ll be fine. I just need a few minutes to cool down.”

“Okay.” Qibli stared at Winter, concern twisting in his gut.  _ He’ll be fine. He’s not built to survive in heat, but that shouldn’t cause any damage. He’s probably just dazed.  _ His eyes traveled over Winter. The ice prince’s eyes were still closed, his long eyelashes brushing the tops of his cheekbones. His delicate, pale lips slightly parted. The silvery moonlight giving his porcelain skin a bluish hue, smooth and otherworldly. His solid chest, still heaving with each breath. Moons knew how many times Qibli had dreams - day and night - about Winter’s perfect body underneath his fingertips, completely at his mercy. He could feel his cheeks going slightly red at the thought. 

Qibli didn’t know how long he’d been staring until he heard Winter’s quiet cough. As if startled out of a trance, Qibli blinked several times and realized that Winter’s eyes were open and he was staring back at Qibli. Heat coursed through his face and his eyes went wide, earning a wide smile and a chuckle from Winter. The SandWing’s heart skipped a beat and began to race at the light, warm sound.

“What were you staring at?” Winter asked. “Is there a bug on me or something? You know, it’s considered rude to see a bug on someone and not swat it for them.”

“I wasn’t staring. I just spaced out for a bit,” Qibli said, shrugging coolly and turning his eyes up to the sky, not looking at anything in particular. 

“What were you thinking about?” Winter asked, leaning over to the water cooler beside them and refilling his cup again. 

Qibli shrugged again. “Nothing really.”

Winter chuckled again. “Sure didn’t look like nothing.”

“Why, what’d you see?” Qibli asked, anxiety spiking in his stomach.

“You just looked… happy. Wistful, almost. And then you went a little red. If it’s embarrassing you don’t have to tell me. Not that I’m all that interested in your embarrassing stories, anyway.”

“Oh shut up, you know you are. That’s basically all you live to do. Torture me.”

“Annoy you, sure. But torture you? That’s going a little far. Why?” Winter sat up and looked at Qibli, forcing Qibli to turn his eyes to the other boy. “Do you feel like I’m torturing you?” His eyes had a certain glow to them in the moonlight that added a level of beautiful solemnity that Qibli had never seen before. It was honestly kind of breathtaking (not that Qibli would ever admit that out loud, though). 

It took a moment for what Winter had said to process in Qibli’s brain, but once it finally did all he could do was sit with his mouth opening and closing for a few moments, trying to speak but finding nothing to say in response.  _ Yeah, you torture me. You don’t know it, but you do. You do it without meaning to. And oh, does it hurt. It’s painful knowing you could never possibly reciprocate what I feel for you. Everything you do makes it hurt more, and there’s no sign of it letting up anytime soon.  _ Qibli shrugged again. “Well, don’t you? From day one, your main goal has been to make my life a living hell.”

“Well, yeah. You had the same goal for me, too.” Winter nudged Qibli’s arm with his elbow, the corner of his lip quirked in a half-smile. “And you do a pretty damn good job, too.”

Qibli couldn’t help but laugh. “Lies, you love me. What’s with you tonight?” he asked softly, genuinely.

Winter arched one eyebrow. “Hm? What do you mean?”

“I don’t know, it’s just that… you’re different. You’re looser, more open, less haughty than usual.”  _ You’re… sweeter. Warmer. Like all those layers of ice are finally melting away to reveal the flowing river beneath.  _

“Is that it? That I actually have human emotions? I’m not a robot, Qibli,” Winter said, his voice teasing. 

“Well, it’s just that you’re not usually like this. Especially around me.” Qibli arched one accusing eyebrow at Winter. “Jig’s up, Winter. Did you eat something weird? Sneak some alcohol when I wasn’t looking?”

“Dude, have some faith in me, huh? I’m still the grumpy, stuck-up IceWing you know and love.”

“See! Right there!” Qibli shouted, jumping to his feet and pointing an accusing finger at Winter, who looked equal parts startled and entertained. “You’d  _ NEVER  _ say something like that!”

“So what? I can’t vary my speech patterns every now and then?” Winter gestured at himself, still doing his unfairly adorable half-smile.

Qibli narrowed his eyes and sat down again, staring fiercely into Winter’s playful gaze. “What’s your game, Winter?”

“What game?” Winter teased, grinning with his whole mouth.

Qibli scoffed and turned forward, crossing his arms over his chest. His cheeks were practically on fire. “You’re infuriating and I won’t stand for this. I demand some of whatever you’re on right now.”

“I’m not ‘on’ anything. I’m just talking.”

“Well, it’s irritating and you’re not like yourself and I don’t like it. I honestly preferred you when you were mean and it was easier to poke fun at you. Now you’re just throwing back smart remarks without getting worked up about it and it’s just annoying-” Qibli broke off with a quiet gasp, realization hitting him like a brick. “Oh. You’re acting like me, aren’t you? Fucking bastard.” He shoved Winter’s leg, earning a shout of laughter from the other boy.

“I was pretty spot on, you have to admit,” Winter said. “Now you see what I mean, right? About you making my life hell?”

“I’m a joy and an absolute blessing and you’re lucky to have me in your life.”

Winter suddenly leaned in close, so close that Qibli could see the pores on Winter’s nose and cheeks. There was a smug grin on Winter’s face and his eyes were half-lidded and teasing. “Yeah, I guess I am pretty lucky.” He moved back and leaned against the palm tree trunk, leaving Qibli stunned, confused, and blushing.

“Dude. You can cut it out now,” he stammered.

“Okay, okay, that was the last time, I promise. I’m putting away my Qibli mask now. I’ll be your local grumpy IceWing for the rest of the night.”

“Good.” 

Silence fell over the two of them and Qibli’s brain started to rapid fire produce ideas about how to get back at Winter for the annoying stunt he’d just pulled.  _ Getting me all worked up like that and reacting to my annoyance like I would react to his. But… it felt all too real. He had to actually enjoy that.  _ He glanced over at Winter, who was staring up at the moons with his usual emotionless mask on, but there was still a gentle gleam in his eyes. And then an idea hit Qibli and his heart started to race.

_ Perfect.  _

“Hey, Winter, ever heard of the full moon kiss?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY THIS SO LATE Y'ALL I'LL TRY TO STICK TO MY ONE-A-MONTH POSTING SCHEDULE IN THE FUTURE
> 
> but that aside mmmmm things are heating up and qibli might not be as prepared for it as he thinks he is. winter can be a huge flirt when he wants and he's pretty damn good at it, too. careful, qibli, you better know what you're getting into~


	6. just might have to

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now. Right now. It has to be right now.

Qibli regretted the words the moment they left his mouth but it was too late to take them back now. Winter’s eyes flicked over to him, a glistening blue sheen from the moons making his eyes appear deeper and darker than they already were, if that was even possible. Qibli tried to act as natural as possible, almost as if he hadn’t just straight-up asked for permission to kiss Winter in the form of a made-up full moon ceremony tradition. Qibli wanted to kick himself. How could he be so stupidly impulsive? _What was I thinking?_

“If you’re looking for a kiss, why don’t you go ask Frond or that other SandWing girl you told me about, if it’s so important to you,” Winter said, no noticeable change in his tone or expression. “But sorry, I’m going to have to sit this one out. I don’t think any SandWings want to kiss me, nor do I really want to kiss them either.” He paused for a moment but spoke up again before Qibli could say anything. “I really should have asked you to specify. What kind of kiss are we talking about?”

Qibli hesitated, his brain seeming to have gone haywire for a moment. “Uh… any kind. Really depends on the two involved in the kiss, though. Family or anything else, it’s usually the forehead or the cheek or something. Partners, the lips or really anything else is fair game. It’s up to the pair.” He nodded as if to reaffirm himself of the “rules” of the fake tradition. _Yeah, that sounds good. Not a drawn out explanation to make him suspicious. Clean and concise, make it sound like I’ve done it a million times._

“Is it… mandatory?” Winter asked, scrunching up his nose as though the mere thought of a kiss physically made him recoil in disgust.

“No, of course not,” Qibli said, smirking. “Unless you’re too chicken to kiss somebody.”

Winter blinked slowly at the other boy, looking slightly bored. “I’m not chicken, I just don’t want to kiss anybody. I don’t know anybody and it wouldn’t even be worth it, if this thing is even real. Which, for the record, I totally don’t think it is.” He shrugged casually, but almost _too_ casually. Qibli squinted slightly, pursing his lips.

“Hm, okay.” He studied Winter’s side profile for a moment as the IceWing stared out at the desert. He looked like he was forcing his face to relax to not give away whatever he was trying to hide, but his eyes glinted with something Qibli couldn’t figure out and he was _clearly_ trying to avoid looking at the SandWing. Even in the moonlight Qibli could see the pale dusting of blue on Winter’s cheeks. In that instant, Qibli knew exactly what to do. Now. Now was the time to make his move. It had to be now, no other time. Right. Now. “Okay, how about I make you a deal?”

Winter’s eyes flicked back to Qibli and the mysterious glint in them vanished. “Oh no.”

Qibli grinned. “I pick someone for you to kiss, and you pick someone for me to kiss. That way we’re both equally embarrassed about this whole thing, okay?”

Winter arched one eyebrow. “For real?” he said, his voice dripping with skepticism.

Qibli nodded, his heart beginning to pound with excitement. “For real.”

Winter squinted, a slight frown on his lips. “I’m at a total disadvantage here,” he grumbled. “You know all these people and I don’t know any of them. You’re probably going to totally screw me over.”

Qibli sidled a bit closer to Winter and he felt as though electricity were running through his veins. He forced his breathing to stay calm so he wouldn’t give anything away. “I won’t screw you over, Winter. How mean do you think I am to do something like that, after everything we’ve been through tonight?” he joked. “And besides, it won’t be screwing you over unless you don’t like me back.”

Confusion spread over Winter’s face and his lips parted in a silent “what…?”. Qibli stared blankly at Winter, waiting for the words to sink in. _I like you, idiot. I like you a lot and I want to kiss you, right now. It has to be now. So please, like me back. Please._

And then it hit. It was like someone turned a faucet and water came pouring down on Winter’s face and instantly loosened up all his dry, tight features. His eyes widened and his mouth fell open in shock and confusion. “Like you back…? Qibli, I…”

“Shh, Winter,” Qibli said, leaning in closer. He could feel the cold emanating from Winter’s skin. “Yes or no, that’s all you have to say.”

Winter didn’t move back. He just stared with his eyes full of beautiful chaos. “Qibli-”

“Yes or no.” Qibli held his breath, his heart about to beat right out of his ribcage.

It was hardly a second but it felt like an eternity passed before the word passed Winter’s lips. “Y-yes.”

All the tension released from Qibli’s body and he felt like he could breathe steadily again. He locked his eyes onto Winter’s. All the confusion and chaos in the dark blue depths had been replaced by terror and excitement and anticipation. “So, Winter, I found who you have to kiss.” He smiled, soft and genuine.

The corners of Winter’s lips twitched upwards. “Oh yeah? Who is it?”

“Me.”

“So we’re both equally embarrassed?” Winter said, his voice a whispery laugh. Qibli nodded, his heart positively hammering. He was almost sure Winter could feel his heartbeat through the ground.

With a shaky breath, he closed his eyes and leaned in closer until he felt Winter’s cold lips against his own, the two perfectly slotting together. As if they were always meant to be like this, together under the moonlight. The kiss sparked electricity in Qibli’s gut and sent chills down his spine, making his skin crawl and the fingers of one hand curl into the sand and the fingers of the other curl into the hair on the back of Winter’s head. When did his hand get there?

The kiss ended as quickly as it had come on. The two pulled away from each other, slowly opening their eyes. Winter’s cheeks were flushed blue and Qibli was sure he was blushing as well, but he felt hot and cold all over and he wasn’t exactly sure what was going on anymore. A hurricane was swirling in his mind but one thought remained clear - he had kissed Winter. 

“You like me?” Winter asked, his voice a whisper so quiet Qibli almost missed it.

“As if I made it any more obvious, dumbass. Do I have to kiss you again to really make it clear?” Qibli grinned, secretly hoping Winter would say yes just so he could kiss him again. The IceWing’s lips were soft and tasted slightly of the lip balm he liked to use - vanilla mint.

Winter grinned, tilting his head slightly. “Y’know, I think you just might have to.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y e e t


	7. spitfire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Good night, Spitfire

“If you want it, you can have it. I won’t fight you anymore for it.” 

Qibli looked over at Winter. “What?” Even though they’d been apart from each other for a few minutes, the SandWing was still slightly out of breath and his cheeks were still warm, his lips still tingling from the cold shock of Winter’s lips. Winter had a weird look on his face, an expression Qibli seldom saw him wearing. He looked tired, but not in his usual worn-down, I-will-kill-you-if-you-so-much-as-look-at-me way. He looked sleepy and soft and warm, if it was even possible for an IceWing to look soft and warm. Maybe Qibli was hallucinating things.  _ Three moons, what’s happening to me? “Winter” and “soft” shouldn’t be in the same sentence under any circumstance.  _ He smiled to himself.  _ I knew he had it in him. Or whatever the IceWing equivalent of “soft and warm” is.  _ He was suddenly proud of himself for being the person who could bring out this side of Winter, the side that he hid so well behind walls of ice and daggers. Perfectly on cue, the little demons at the back of his brain instantly bubbled up, whispering thoughts about how Moon could make Winter feel like this and probably numerous other people too, but he forced them back.  _ Great time for some self-pity and jealousy, Qibli. _

“The comfortable bed. You can have it if you want it.” 

“Nah, I’m fine. You keep it.”

Winter arched one eyebrow. “You do realize you could just ask Queen Thorn for a new mattress, right? So we wouldn’t have to fight over the nice bed?” 

“That mattress is part of our room’s charm! You can’t just get rid of such a precious artifact! Remember how many fights we’ve had over that mattress?” Qibli exclaimed, sitting up and smiling. “Our first ever fight in the Kingdom of Sand was over that mattress. I remember we walked in and I took the nice bed and you almost tipped my bed over when I wouldn’t trade with you.”

Winter’s laugh came as a loud exhale through his nose. “I guess, but seriously? I didn’t peg you as the sentimental type, especially not with me. Keeping a terrible mattress because of some fights we’ve had over it. You’re the weirdest person I’ve ever met, Qibli.”

“You know you love me,” Qibli said, batting his eyelashes. “And my weird sentimentality.”

“I do not love you, I tolerate you. And your weird sentimentality.”

“Not even ten minutes ago your tongue was halfway down my throat.” Qibli arched one eyebrow, crossing his arms over his chest.

“I don’t know if I’d call that love  _ just _ yet,” Winter snarked, a playful grin on his lips. “You have to give me some time to work through what just happened. You literally dropped a bombshell on me with no warning at all, and now I’m confused but I’m pretty sure I liked it, but-”

“So sleep on your comfortable bed tonight and think it through, and tell me in the morning.”

Winter rolled his eyes. “Three moons, just ask Queen Thorn for a new fucking mattress already. I don’t want to hear that thing squeaking all night when I’m trying to work through my sexuality crisis. Which  _ you  _ caused, by the way. It’s the least you could for me.”

“Aww, Winter, I’m absolutely honored to be the reason for your sexuality crisis.” Qibli put his hand over his heart and pretended to wipe a tear away. “You have no idea how much that means to me.”

Winter glared at the other boy, but his icy stare didn’t have its usual bite. “God, you’re such a loser,” he sighed affectionately. “I really shouldn’t be feeding your ego this much.”

“You knew  _ exactly  _ what you were getting into when you kissed me.”

“Yes, and I still said yes anyway,” Winter said with a shrug. “Sometimes I don’t understand myself.”

“Well luckily you have a friend like me who’s here to know you better than you know yourself.” Friend? Was that even the right word anymore? A-friend-I-kissed-and-now-I-don’t-know-anymore? They certainly weren’t anything  _ more _ than friends, but suddenly just ‘friend’ seemed entirely wrong. You don’t just go around kissing your friends and then acting like nothing happened. Qibli didn’t have much personal experience in that situation, but that just seemed like common knowledge. 

“As if you could ever know me better. I hardly know myself.”

Qibli burst out laughing, making Winter jump in surprise. “Sorry, Winter, but that’s the most ‘Winter’ thing I’ve ever heard you say,” he said between breaths.

Winter’s face tightened and he didn’t respond. Qibli, instantly sensing something off, stopped laughing. “Hey, Winter, I’m sorry for laughing. But you have to admit that was pretty funny.”

Winter shrugged. “Not really.” 

“Something’s wrong. Tell me.”

“It’s nothing, and whatever it even would be you’ve probably already figured it out with that annoying spitfire brain of yours. I think that’s going to be my new nickname for you. Spitfire.”

“Stop invalidating your own feelings, Winter. Just tell me. We’re friends, right? You can tell me anything, I mean it.” Qibli inched closer to the IceWing, genuinely worried.  _ He probably feels all mixed up, like this entire world he’s built in his mind has been burned to ashes. Like the person he thought he was is actually all a mirage. Like the path he’s been on has suddenly twisted off in a new direction and he’s lost his compass. Confused and scared and not himself.  _

Maybe Spitfire was a pretty accurate nickname for him afterall, Qibli decided. 

Winter shook his head. “I’m fine. Seriously, it’s nothing. Let’s just go back to our room. I’m tired.”

“Okay, let’s do that.”  _ He’s fragile right now, and he’ll open up on his own time. I’m not going to force it. Let him decide what he wants. Remember, Qibli, this isn’t all about you.  _ Would Moon even have to think like this or would she just instinctively know what to do? Qibli’s heart twinged in his chest at the thought of Moon. It had been three months since he’d last seen her and he missed her so much. He hadn’t been texting her like he promised he would, although he had tried in the beginning. She’d only responded to a few of the texts, saying that soon she’d be completely offline. The rainforest had no cell service; bringing the internet to the rainforest was one of the projects she was working on with Kinkajou and Queen Glory. 

He wondered how she was doing in the rainforest, if she was sleeping and eating and drinking enough water. He figured he could try sending a handwritten letter, but he was too impatient when it came to waiting for replies. And besides, he was going to see Moon again in a couple of weeks. Just the thought of seeing her smiling face again made his chest swell with joy. 

Winter stood up and reached his hand out to Qibli, who gladly accepted it and allowed himself to be pulled to his feet. The two headed back to their room in the palace mostly in silence, the sounds of the full moon festival slowly starting to fade away behind them. 

At this time of the night, the halls of the palace were dimly lit and long shadows were cast everywhere. An eerie silence fell over all the halls and everywhere you went you felt like there were eyes watching you. Despite having lived in the palace for the better part of his teenage years, Qibli always got anxiety walking through the palace at night. His footsteps quickened and he could sense Winter changing his speed to keep up with the SandWing. 

The two reached their room and shut the door behind them. Qibli went to the uncomfortable bed and was about to drape himself over it when Winter blocked his way, spreading his arms out in front of the bed. “Nuh-uh. You get the comfortable bed.”

“Dude, you’re being ridiculous. Just fucking take the nice bed.” Qibli tried to get around Winter, but the IceWing maneuvered so that he blocked Qibli again. 

“You take it.”

“I’m trying to do something nice for you! Take the nice bed, it’s not that hard!” Qibli shoved Winter’s arm away but Winter moved it back.

“Who decided that YOU get to be the brave sacrifice?”

“I did, now go sleep on the nice bed! Good night, I’m done with this!” Qibli shouted, shoving Winter in the chest and successfully knocking the IceWing off balance long enough to jump onto his bed and crawl under the covers. 

Winter sighed dramatically, almost affectionately. “God, Qibli, why do you make everything so difficult?”

“I could say the same for you,” Qibli muttered, his voice muffled by his pillow.

Winter made a sound that was something like a laugh and he turned to dig around in his bag for a change of clothes. He swapped out his jeans for a pair of gray sweatpants and his white shirt for a sleeveless dark blue T-shirt that fit him just a little too well, in Qibli’s opinion. 

Winter crawled into bed and turned so that his back was facing Qibli. “Good night, Spitfire.”

“Good night, Winter.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello moon my precious daughter no i haven't totally forgotten about you


	8. sleepless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Then I guess there's only one logical solution," Qibli mumbled.
> 
> "Hm?"
> 
> "We share my bed."

_ Good night my ass,  _ Qibli thought angrily to himself as he stared up at the shadows the moonlight cast on the ceiling. Annoyingly but not surprisingly, Qibli was having quite a bit of trouble falling asleep. His eyelids wanted to do anything but close, and his brain was whirling in confused circles all over the place. He couldn’t stop tossing and turning from side to side, though he cringed every time the mattress squeaked underneath him. He kept shooting glances over at Winter to make sure he hadn’t woken him up with all the noise he was making, and luckily the IceWing remained asleep.

Qibli could swear he still felt the faint buzzing on his lips.  _ Three moons, just stop thinking about it! Brain, please shut up for a few hours so I can sleep!  _ Qibli threw his arm over his face and let out a loud sigh, mumbling incoherent nonsense under his breath as he threw himself onto his other side, the mattress groaning loudly in protest at his not-so-gentle movements. He closed his eyes and tried to clear his mind, but not even fifteen seconds later his eyes opened again. Finally sick of the shit his body was dealing him, the SandWing sat up and threw the sheets back, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed and leaping off in one swift movement (in order to make as little noise as possible. Did he accomplish that? The mattress would disagree). Frustrated, tired, and not quite down from his adrenaline rush, Qibli ran his hand through his hair several times to try and restore some order to his loose curls and scoured the dark room for his shoes. Finally locating them under the clothes he’d discarded after the ceremony, he yanked them on and stormed out of his room, casting one last glance at Winter to make sure he was still asleep. He was, thank the moons.

Qibli walked aimlessly around the palace for a while, his mind completely in a haze as he kept envisioning the kiss over and over. He kept picturing Winter’s eyes in the moonlight, the way his white hair seemed to glow with an otherworldly aura, his delicate pale lips, the sharp needles of cold Qibi felt in his lips the moment they kissed. Qibli passed his tongue gently over his lips again. 

When he finally snapped out of his trance, he found that he’d somehow wound up in a massive, dark hallway that he wasn’t sure he was familiar with. He patted his pocket for his phone, but then he realized he’d left it back in his room.  _ Shit, now I’m lost and I can’t see anything. Well, this is just great, Qibli. What’s the plan now, spitfire?  _ He snorted out loud at his last thought, catching himself by surprise. He grinned slightly at the thought of Winter mocking him.  _ I totally deserved that.  _

Qibli looked around. He’d come from the hallway behind him, so he turned and started walking back that way. Though he had no clue where he was going and couldn’t see anything, he just walked in whichever direction felt right. He wound up at a massive wooden door and was about to turn back, but decided to head outside and get a better sense of where he was. Luckily, the doors weren’t locked and he was able to push them open. They opened into a small courtyard with a palm tree in the middle and sand that looked freshly swept. The decorative rocks were all arranged neatly around the base of the palm tree. Qibli stepped outside, grateful for the chilly desert night air that engulfed him. He took deep breaths, holding the cool air in his lungs for a few moments before releasing it. Looking up at the walls that surrounded the courtyard on every side except for one, he noticed that there was a single window on the second story of the wall to his right. There was a flower basket hanging from the sill, and it had delicate white curtains that were blowing in the breeze. The window was open, but from what Qibli could tell, there were no lights on inside. Qibli didn’t recognize this part of the palace at all.  _ How is that possible? I know this palace like the back of my hand. How is there a part on the outside that I’ve never seen before?  _

He didn’t have time for this now, he just needed to get back to his room. He turned and went back inside, shutting the doors behind him with a loud  _ CRASH  _ that echoed through the halls of the palace. Suddenly anxious about being lost by himself in a part of the palace he didn’t know at night (you know, like any normal, rational person would be), he started to walk faster, glancing everywhere around him. His heart was starting to race and his paranoia was starting to manifest in everything from shadows to little noises to tricks of the moonlight. Finally, somehow, he made it to a part of the palace he  _ did  _ recognize - one of the main entrance halls. To be more specific, the main entrance hall with the staircase that took him directly to his room on the second floor. Heaving a sigh of relief, Qibli ran up the stairs and sprinted the final few feet into his room, leaping onto the bed and burying himself under the covers. He took a few deep breaths to calm his racing heart, laying completely still on the mattress. 

Then he heard a groan from the other bed and the sound of weight shifting. His heart sank.  _ Shit, I woke Winter up. Stupid, stupid.  _ He rolled over, and sure enough Winter’s eyes were fluttering open and he was looking around the room sleepily.

“Did I wake you up?” Qibli asked. “I’m sorry for being so loud.”

Winter blinked slowly at Qibli, then yawned hugely before responding. “No, I’ve been awake for a while.” His voice was gravelly and rough, and he coughed to clear his throat. “I looked over a while ago and you were gone. I thought you just went to the bathroom or something, but then you didn’t come back. I was starting to get worried. Where’d you go?” 

Qibli sighed through his nose. “Couldn’t sleep, so I took a walk around the palace. I wound up in a part of the palace that I’d never seen before and I got lost. Sorry about scaring you.”

Winter nodded. “I’ve been drifting in and out of sleep for a while.” He let out a breathy laugh. “We’re going to be so exhausted tomorrow.”

“I’m already exhausted now,” Qibli remarked. Suddenly his whole body felt like it was weighed down by a sack of rocks and all he wanted to do was close his eyes and slip into unconsciousness for a few hours. 

“Me too,” Winter said, stifling another yawn. “Damn moons are so bright, I can’t sleep.”

“Want to switch beds? Mine is further from the window,” Qibli offered. His eyelids were drooping now and he was fighting them to stay open.

“But then you’d have the same problem as me,” Winter argued.

“Then I guess there’s only one logical solution,” Qibli mumbled.

“Hm?”   


“We share my bed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wrote this whole chapter while blasting nct 127's "paradise" on loop at the highest volume in my headphones and now my ears hurt but it was worth it


	9. morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Winter's mushiness is at its all-time high and Qibli gets hit with a pillow a lot

Winter let out a snort so vigorous it startled Qibli a bit. “Pfft, yeah right. Just because we kissed doesn’t mean we can share a bed like some mushy boyfriends. I think there’s other steps involved before we get there.”

A little disheartened, Qibli jumped straight to defense. “Well, you were complaining about the moonlight, and I wanted to help you. I thought it was a pretty smart idea, but I guess not.” _I can’t forget that he’s still Winter, and he’s confused, and he probably isn’t even into guys. He’ll always want to be just friends, no matter what happened between us today. He might even hate me when he finally comes to his senses._

Qibli was surprised at the pang of sadness he felt in his gut at the thought of Winter hating him. For the first few months after they’d meet at Jade Mountain, Winter had hated Qibli (though somewhere deep, deep down, he really didn’t hate Qibli). It had taken a while for the IceWing to fully warm up to Qibli, but Qibli had waited for him the entire time. At the time, he hadn’t really known why he was so hellbent on wanting Winter to like him; it had just felt like something he _needed_ to do. Then, it was like he’d been struck by lightning - the time Darkstalker had him cornered in that cave and read every single one of his thoughts out loud, each one another knife in Qibli’s heart, was dug out of his pit of “Memories to Forget” and thrown straight to the front of the line called “Memories to Remember”. _If I can get this cold, stuck-up IceWing to like me, then that’ll prove I’m someone worth loving._ An image of his mother, also dug up from the pit of Memories to Forget, flashed through his head and he furiously shoved it down.

_The only reason I tried so hard with Winter was because I couldn’t get my mother to love me, no matter how much I tried._

_Did I fuck everything up?_ The thought echoed in Qibli’s skull and he suddenly simultaneously felt hollow and as if everything was caving in on him at once. _Am I going to lose Winter, too?_

“Don’t get like that, Qibli. I know you were just trying to be helpful. It was a sweet offer, but I’ll pass. No hard feelings, right?” Winter said, flashing a small smile at Qibli, entirely oblivious to the hurricane raging in the other’s brain.

“Yeah, no hard feelings,” Qibli forced out, his voice breaking on the last word. His stomach clenched with sudden fear that Winter had noticed, but the IceWing didn’t make any notion that he had and turned away from Qibli, settling into the mattress to sleep.

Qibli’s emotions did a sudden one-eighty, now angry that Winter _hadn’t_ noticed the SandWing’s distress. Qibli flipped over onto his other side and shut his eyes, just wanting to fall asleep and forget about his trauma for a while.

 

___________________________________

 

“Qibli, it’s time to get up.”

Qibli, still mostly asleep, groaned into his pillow.

“Qibli.”

He groaned again. A second later, something smacked against the side of his face, startling him awake and into a sitting position. Sunlight stabbed Qibli’s eyes and he flinched back, throwing a hand over his face to protect himself. After a moment of fiercely rubbing his eyes, he squinted against the light and saw Winter standing there, clad in pajamas and holding a pillow at his side.

“Did you hit me with a pillow?” the SandWing demanded, still not fully awake. His head felt thick and hazy as if it were filled with smoke, and he still hadn’t fully adjusted to the scene around him.

Winter shrugged, tossing the pillow back onto his own bed. “You left me no other option.”

Qibli responded with a grumble and flopped back onto his pillow. His eyes weren’t closed for five seconds before there was another pillow smacking him in the face.

“HEY!” he shouted, bolting upright.

“I said get up, maybe you misheard me the first time,” Winter snapped, his remark making Qibli’s gut twist. _He’s pissed at me. Not that him being pissed at me is new, but he actually sounds like he means it._

“Sorry,” Qibli said quietly, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed.

“Queen Thorn was here earlier, she said she wanted to talk with you today.” Winter said bluntly from the other side of the room, digging through his bag for what Qibli guessed was a change of clothes.

Now _that_ perked Qibli up. “She was? Why didn’t you wake me up?”  _Why would she come to my room instead of texting me? I wonder what's going on._

“Queen Thorn said not to bother you. She told me to tell you to go to her throne room whenever you woke up.” Winter looked at Qibli. “If that were Queen Glacier looking for me when I was asleep, I would have been dropped in the rankings as punishment if I didn’t get up right away.” There was a weird twinkle in his eyes as he mentioned his deceased queen, and a small smile graced his pale lips. “This kingdom is anarchy.”

Qibli scoffed dramatically, the apprehension in his stomach dissolving away. “And I’m sure your kingdom is doing _so_ much better with all those rules and punishments. No wonder all you IceWings have a cactus stuck up your butts all the time. Have you seen one unhappy SandWing since you’ve been here? No, you haven’t, because Thorn actually lets her subjects _sleep_ , for moons’ sake.” Qibli flashed a smile at the IceWing and tossed his hair out of his eyes.

Winter grinned and shook his head in disbelief. “I guess I can stop defending the IceWings now. If I’m being totally honest, I hated those rules and punishments. They made me stronger and more determined, but they wrecked my mental state and capabilities. If it weren’t for you and Moon and the others, I never would have realized what it’s like to be genuinely happy.”

“Aww, you big sap,” Qibli gushed, adimittedly a bit surprised that Winter was suddenly being so open.  _No, no, this is a good thing!_

“I mean it. Thank you, for everything.” Winter and Qibli stared at each other for a few moments, neither one of them able to move their eyes away. Qibli’s lungs suddenly seemed to not want to work and his chest starting to tingle with warmth and excitement and something else. He wanted to lose himself in those dazzling eyes of Winter’s, to forever wander in those arctic pool depths.

And then Winter coughed and forced his gaze away and the moment was over, leaving Qibli slightly disoriented and a bit disappointed.

“Oh, you know, I would have done the same for any person who needed to loosen up and live life to the fullest,” Qibli said, running his fingers through his hair awkwardly. _I have to stop doing that, at least until I have a definite answer on how Winter truly feels about me._

“I know. It’s just one of your many traits that gets on my nerves but at the same time is so weirdly endearing and likeable.”

“Keep talking like that and I might start to think you have actual emotions other than anger and disgust.”

Winter shot a playful look of incredulity at Qibli. “You know better than anyone I have more than two emotions, Mr. I-Can-Read-Anyone.”

Qibli laughed, the grin on his face refusing to go away. “You’re such a nerd. How unlucky am I that I got stuck with such a mushy blob of camel spit as my best friend?”

“The unluckiest,” Winter said with a nod. “Now stop messing around with me and get dressed. Your queen wants to talk to you, remember?”

“Hey, you kept distracting me!” Qibli stood up and went to look for clean clothes to wear. “With your mushiness and your unfairly pretty eyes.”

“You can blame me all you want later, just get ready!” Winter threw his pillow at Qibli and it whapped lightly against the back of Qibli’s legs.

“I’m going, I’m going!” Qibli laughed, and Winter joined in. Qibli quickly got dressed to avoid another smack from Winter’s pillow and headed out of their room, momentarily pausing in the doorway.

“I’ll be back later-” A pillow to his face shut the SandWing up.

“Just go!”

His heart full of joy, Qibli headed out of their room and toward Thorn’s throne room.

_I really hope he loves me, too._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! Sorry about the long hiatus; things kept coming up left and right and I had no motivation to write. I hope this makes up for it, and I'll try to stick to my schedule in the future! Thank you for everything, it really means everything to me <3


	10. like me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An accidental encounter reveals shared trauma

_What could Thorn want to see me for? Why didn’t she wake me up? Why didn’t Winter wake me up? It’s clearly not urgent, or she WOULD have woken me up. Is she mad at me? What did I do? Is she upset that I ditched the ceremony last night? Was I supposed to do something? Oh god, how badly did I fuck up-_

The warm, fuzzy feeling in Qibli’s chest had quickly morphed into anxiety as he walked through the halls of the palace to Thorn’s throne room. He knew that whatever Thorn needed to talk to him about wasn’t time sensitive (he really hoped), but his stomach twisted more with the fear of the unknown than anything else. What could he possibly have done?

Suddenly, something smashed into Qibli’s shoulder, yanking him out of his own thoughts. He stumbled backwards, unable to get his balance in time and falling hard to the smooth tile floor. Not even a second later, he heard a second thump and the sound of something metallic clanging to the ground. He laid on the floor for a few moments, blinking rapidly and trying to process what had just happened.

“Oh my god, I’m sorry, I didn’t see you - I’m so clumsy-”

“It’s… okay,” Qibli said, the words coming out slowly as if he were unsure of the entire scene around him.

“Oh no, did I hurt you? It was an accident, I swear-” A warm hand reached out and grabbed Qibli’s wrist, trying to pull him into a sitting position.

“Don’t worry, I’m fine.” Qibli’s voice still sounded cautious and unsure, like he was tiptoeing around the words to avoid saying the wrong thing.

“Did you hit your head?”

Qibli turned his head to see a round-faced SandWing who couldn’t be much older than him, probably only a year or two. He had wavy dark brown hair that was cut short and freckles splattered over the bridge of his nose and his forehead. A pair of gold-rimmed glasses were perched on his nose and a thin gold chain was hung around his neck. It looked like a pendant was hanging from the chain, though if there was, it was tucked into the boy’s shirt. No tattoos marked the boy’s face or neck, which Qibli found slightly unusual.

The other boy squeezed Qibli’s wrist a bit tighter and shook his arm. “Did you hit your head?”

“Huh? Oh,” Qibli said, blinking once even though his vision was clear. “No, I don’t think so.”

The other boy let out a sigh of relief. “That’s good news. I’d feel so bad if I gave you a head injury.”

Qibli didn’t think he hit his head, but he was so disoriented he wasn’t so sure he didn’t hit his head afterall. “Don’t worry, I wasn’t paying attention. It’s not your fault.”

The boy pushed his glasses up his nose with one finger, still looking slightly unconvinced. “You should probably still go to a doctor, you seem a little out of it. Here, I’ll take you there now.”

“No!” Qibli burst out, startling the other SandWing into letting go of his wrist. _Thorn! I have to get to Thorn._

“Are-are you sure?”

Qibli shook his head. “I have to talk to Thorn. I don’t know what I did, but she needs to talk to me. I don’t need a doctor, I’m fine.” He stood up, one hand against the wall to balance himself. The other boy stood up with him, his arms out and ready to catch Qibli should he fall again.

“You really don’t look okay. I’ll send a messenger back to Thorn that you can’t talk to her right now, okay?” The boy gently placed his hands on Qibli’s arms, but Qibli jerked back. His stomach sank a little at the disappointment and worry on the boy’s face.

“She needs to talk to me. I’m already late.” Qibli took a step forward, and thankfully, his legs felt solid. _I’m just dazed. I don’t have a head injury._

“Well, at least let me help you there.” The SandWing’s voice was gentle, but Qibli sensed something in it that said he wasn’t going to relent until he was sure Qibli was okay.

 _Why does he care so much?_ Qibli wondered, but he knew it was no use arguing anymore. He was late already, and refusing this SandWing’s help was just wasting more time.

“Okay,” Qibli said. He let himself be guided down the hallway by the other SandWing, who kept a firm and supportive grip on Qibli’s arm.

“What does Queen Thorn need to talk to you about?” the other SandWing inquired sweetly.

“I don’t know,” Qibli replied, sounding more blunt than he meant to. He knew he sounded like a jerk to this poor guy who was just trying to help him, but he was _late_ and he’d already disappointed Thorn and he didn’t want to make her wait any longer for him.

“Yikes, that doesn’t sound good,” the other boy said. “You looked like you were in a rush. You know, before I crashed into you. I’m sorry for that, I really am.”

“You don’t have to keep apologizing, I’m not mad at you.” Well, maybe a little mad.

“I always do stuff like that. It drives my dad crazy, you know? He can’t keep nice things around the house because I’ll probably trip on the area rug and smash all his nice vases again.”

_Clumsy, a little goofy, sweet, overly helpful and apologetic. Anxious, too. I wonder if his dad yells at him or punishes him whenever he breaks stuff._

“He knows you’re not doing it on purpose, I’m sure,” Qibli offered.

“I’m sure he knows, but he acts like I’m doing it just to spite him. It’s the easiest way to deal with me, in his opinion.”

Now _this_ was a can of worms Qibli absolutely did not want to open with somebody he’d known for five minutes. _How much longer until we get to Thorn’s throne room?_

“That… that really sucks, I’m sorry,” Qibli said, not wanting to drag the conversation out any further.

“Eh, it’s not so bad anymore. We sort of worked something out so we don’t really see each other a lot. I usually just stay in my room and out of his way, and he doesn’t decorate the house with expensive things anymore.” The boy shrugged nonchalantly, which Qibli felt was entirely inappropriate considering what had just come out of his mouth.

And then something clicked in the back of his Qibli’s mind. _He’s… like me. He learned to avoid his dad just like I learned to avoid my family whenever I messed up. He’s numb to the trauma. Like me._

“Well, here you go. Please, see a doctor when you can, okay?” The boy let go of Qibli’s arm and turned to walk away, but he spun around again. “Oh, I completely forgot! Gosh, my mind is all over the place. My name is Scarab, sorry I didn’t introduce myself earlier.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Qibli said, making a mental note of the apology. _That’s probably what his dad says to him. That he’s scatter-brained._ “I’m Qibli. Thank you for helping me, I really appreciate it.”

A slight blush crept into Scarab’s cheeks. “It was nothing, you don’t need to thank me.”

“No, really. Thank you. Who knows what could have happened to me if you weren’t here,” Qibli said with a genuine smile. Scarab’s lips twitched into an awkward smile and he nodded once before turning and heading back the way they’d come.

 _He’s not used to praise, just like I wasn’t. I wonder if he’ll ever become desperate for validation, like I used to be._ Darkstalker’s face appeared in Qibli’s head again, accompanied by his talon-sharp words that were the truth about himself that Qibli was too afraid to face. A dull ache formed in the back of his skull, and he began to wonder if he really did have a head injury after all.

 _No. I can’t go there. Not now._ Forcing the mental image back again, Qibli opened the wooden doors and stepped into Thorn’s throne room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO I'M NOT DEAD! I can't believe I haven't updated this since November, sorry for making you guys wait so long! 
> 
> Thank you for your continued support, it means everything to me <3

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed!!! Thank you for reading!!! PLEASE LEAVE A KUDOS AND A COMMENT IT REALLY MEANS A LOT!!!
> 
> Come scream at me on Tumblr @frostiik
> 
> And just for reference: this is what I imagine Qibli's hair to look like in this fic~  
> https://smhttp-ssl-33667.nexcesscdn.net/manual/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/curly-hair-with-undercut-men.jpg


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